High School Psychology

Salutative Neglect

2008-08-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

It's a term my AP US History teacher used to describe the way the British used to neglect us until the French and Indian War. It's supposed to mean neglect that is helpful and encourages independence. Obvious a blog cannot be independent but I hope that my time away from this blog has helped refresh me and that I won't get as burnt out on writing as I have in the past.

I got to looking at the entries and I realized that I skipped the entire months of July and August. How did that happen? Feels like just yesterday I was turning sixteen. Now I'm driving, FOR REAL. I drove to the Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen today! WITHOUT KILLING, MAIMING, CRASHING, OR OTHERWISE INJURYING ANYONE!!! Honestly, I was so proud of myself, words cannot describe it.

Some updates:

I passed my CNA test. Some of my friends didn't not however...
I've started school and set the grading curve on the first two of my AP Biology tests!!
We moved my grandmother to an assisted living facility here in Small Town. Not the one that had a heart attack, the other one.
I'm officially in Marching Band and not section leader which admittedly I'm miffed about but whatever, less stress for me.
I'm starting a running blog with some other nerdfighters. We're training up to do charity runs. We have people from all over, even someone from CANADA! How cool is that? There's still time to join. Check us out at http://www.nerdrunners.blogspot.com

I've been sick lately so if I'm a little bad about blogging, try to give me a break. Well, more later and have wonderful Labor Day weekend.

Baking Cake

2008-06-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

In my quest for things to make from scratch, I found this amazing cake mix.

You know how everyone has that one thing that calms them down and brings them back to center? Well I think baking spice cake to the dulcet tones of Chris Tomlin is what does it for me. Odd, I know, but it is extremely calming.

I woke up kind of sore from the practical tests we did yesterday in the CNA class and I really wanted a piece of the spice cake I baked last Sunday but it was all gone. So I'm making another one. And after I have a piece, I think I'll go biking a little bit and finish a book.

Oh happy day...

UPDATE:
I messed up the cake. I hope this isn't a sign of what's to come. Well, I didn't really mess it up. I just switched up the recipe up a little. Put a little too much milk and too little oil. Hopefully it'll be even better. Hopefully.

UPDATED UPDATE:
The cake was actually more of a cake than the way I normally make it. I still like the other way better.

General Confusion

2008-06-26T18:25:00.001-07:00

When will I ever have a normal summer? I'm not complaining per say but seriously it seems that every summer something that has me a little off tilt. Honestly, it's no secret what has me off this year, but in the off chance he has somehow found my blog and realized who I am, I'd rather not say his name. Yes, my problem is of the male persuasion. Unfortunately, it's not one of those "oh-a-cute-guy-likes-me-but-i-don't-really-know-if-i-like-him-or-like-him-like-him" problems, its more of "why-do-keep-popping-up-in-my-life-just-to-remind-me-of-all-the-terrible-things-I've-tried-so-hard-to-forget-not-to-mention-all-the-really-sucky-things-you-did-to-me" problems. Fortunately, this problem will not be here when school starts and will not be returning next summer to confuse me.

But I have to admit there are things I want to talk about but I don't know who to trust. I was thinking of telling my mom but she kind of blew me off when I asked to talk. Then I was going to tell my friend but she was really immature and I never got around to it. I'm running out of ideas here and my thoughts are keeping me up at night. I didn't get to sleep till one or two in the morning last night because I couldn't stop wondering and thinking and problem solving and all that. It's maddening.

Abuse and Neglect

2008-06-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry for neglecting the blog lately. It's a little hard to want to blog when you don't feel that anyone reads it. So if you're a lurker or just a passerby, it would be fantastic if you could leave a comment.

A lot has been going on lately. Monday and Tuesday of course were CNA days. They were...interesting to say the least but I won't get into that. It's a lot of ridiculously simple concepts that seem to be blown a little out of proportion. But I'm fifteen, so what do I know.

Today was the history camp everyone laughed at when I told them I was doing it. I was Jemimah Boone, in charge of my Boone family clan, none of whom were willing to change their names to those of actually Boone family members. It was actually really fun. I had a great group of kids; they were very attentive and respectful and did most of what I asked them to. I had a lot of fun teaching them the Painted Stone play seeing as we made it up as we went along and all of them wanted to be dead bodies. It was great.

I had signing practice after that. We're not proforming during the summer, just learning songs we really want to learn rather than have people tell us what to learn because it makes them feel important, like they've got a real show going, when we get up there and sign all their songs. No one else really cares; I'm the only person under 30 there and the rest of the ladies are all very nice. I've learned so much anout what they've been through and after it all they still have this amazing hopefulness about them. They're a real treat to hang out with; like and instant boost to your spirit.

Well, I'll try to write more later. Comment por favor.

Get Smart

2008-06-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

Get Smart is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Steve Carell totally works for this role. I was a little iffy at first when I heard he'd be playing the part. Up until then, I'd only seen him in Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty in which he wasn't very dynamic or funny. Then my mom bought Dan in Real Life, where Carell stars as an widowed advice columnist with three strong-willed daughters as they embark on their family reunion. My mom said he was pretty good in The Forty Year Old Virgin but for obvious reasons, I haven't seen it so I can't vouch. But nevertheless, this seems to top all of is former performances. Definitely worth the five dollars it took to see it. I can't wait until it comes out on DVD. It's going on my Christmas list.

In other news, this whole Birthday Party thing my sister and mom are so excited about it really stressing me out. I asked them to stop calling it my party. Either it was THE party or my get together. The word party has too many stressful conotations for me seeing as, for the most part, I don't like people. I know it sounds bad and I guess it is but...I don't have any excuses.

Long Lost Friend

2008-06-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

Jeff was one of those people you never expected to hear from again. As my second grade best friend, he's one of those people that will forever be ingrained into my childhood memories. Being that both of us have since moved from the elementary school where we met and that we hadn't heard from his family in a solid five years, I didn't expect to happen upon him in this lifetime. Still, fate has it's way of intervening.

Today, as I was "cleaning my room" (i.e. messing around on the Internet/teaching myself how to quilt), my mom brought me up this old e-mail, Jeff's mom, Dorene, had sent to use when I was in sixth grade right after we'd moved to Small Town America. It had Jeff's old e-mail address on it and she thought I should try it, but like most old e-mail address, it wasn't in use anymore so I got one of those UNABLE TO DELIVER notices back about two seconds after I'd sent the email. It was discouraging to say the least but I remained vigilant (or rather I didn't feel like cleaning my room yet).

So I typed in his parents' names and found an old race record with his parents and him listed as participants. I googled the name of the race and found out it was in Texas of all places. So I went to white pages and looked up all the people with his dad's first and last name in Texas and it turns out there's only one. I scribbled down the phone number and convinced my mom to call and IT WAS THEM!!! I felt really proud of myself coupled with intense curiosity. Remember I haven't heard from them in five years.

Turns out he's 6'3" playing football as a junior in high school. Who knew! My mom got their e-mail and she's going to send some pictures and hopefully they'll send some back. I can't wait to see what he looks like. I haven't actually seen him in seven years so he's obviously a load different. God must have been on my side because I didn't expect to ever hear from them again.

All to think it started with an old email...

Homemaking

2008-06-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

Those who know me know my stance on children. They're great for other people but I definitely don't want them when and or if I get married. I've been steadfast in this belief for a good two years now. But there is a side of me that parhaps if there are such things as past lives I would have been a stay at home mother. The reason I bring this up is because today I was riffling through some websites as I always do and came upon the announcment of Tasha Tudor's death. I didn't realize that I actually knew who she was until I did some research and I'm pretty sure we have one of her award winning books around here. What I didn't know however was about her country lifestyle.

Which got me thinking about some of the old fashion things I really want to learn how to do. On a realated note, I'm praticipating in a local history camp next week. I'm Jemimah Boone. My mother is posing as Rebecca Boone [a childhood hero of hers nevertheless] on the days I can't be there. The two of these things, Tasha Tudor's death and the coming of the history camp, set me off on a web based journey for all things frugal and old fashion.

I came upon some very interesting and useful websites, no matter if you're from the 1700's or a modern woman. Check some of these things out...

Making your own clothes is easier and more fashionable than ever...

Homemaking and other such skills...

Fragality is the new designer brand...

You can always learn something new here...

I'm going to set some goals for this summer and put them up in the sidebar and check them off as I go. Those who would like to join me are welcome.

You see, I thought this college class would take up all my time but I'm pleasantly surprised at all this free time I have. ExNovio was talking about using the week of vacation we have and taking a bunch of people on a road trip. I think he was joking but with him you never know...

Martha Lou

2008-06-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

My grandmother is in the hospital because she had a heart attack. My parents won't tell me anything. I feel sick...

Day 1 of CNA Class

2008-06-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Oddly enough, today went very well. Some might ask, "Why is that odd, Talon?" and to that I would have to reply that I just don't expect much out of life. My mom says this is pesimistic but I feel that it's actually quite optimistic because if I don't expect much then it's easier to exceed my expectations. At least, that's the way I see it...

The class was interesting. I had fun and learned a lot. I go back tomorrow. I have absolutely too much to say about the day so I'll simplfy it and simply state that I now have a unique insight into the male mind. It's like there no logic. Anywho...

More later.

Young Hilary Clinton

2008-06-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

This is great!

Stir Crazy

2008-06-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

After two days of being cooped up with your family, you really need a break. Actually, make that two weeks of being cooped up with your family. Though at least last week we were at the beach so I could get away and I had my cousins and my friend Mary. But this week was really rough. It wasn't all that fun and it was hard emotionally and physically.

Today we went to see a movie; Indiana Jones. It felt good to get out of the house and the movie was good, but even that wasn't enough to shake my cabin fever. I know I'm whinning and I'm sorry to anyone who actually reads this. I shouldn't be complaining because life isn't so bad right now compared to March.

I've just been having a lot of problems with dispersonalization; you know that out of body feeling. I've had that a lot lately and when I'm actually in my body I feel completely out of control of my life. I try not to let it bother me but it gets annoying to say the least. It's like I'm constantly bracing for another tragedy. It's sucks.

I'm hoping starting my CNA class on Monday will help. School always helped relieve some of the out of control feeling. When you've got assignments, papers, and homework to do, your in control. With nothing to do around here, I feel so useless and uncreative. I think I might resort to cleaning my room or something.

By the way, for anyone who reads this and I thank you if you do, I'm starting a YA review site called Talon's Bookbag. To check it out, follow the link in my profile. There's not much there right now because the first book I'm reviewing is still being read. For those who know about book blogs, can you tell me in the comments if you can review books that have been out for a while or do they have to be new? I mean, as far as successful sites. What's too old?

Thanks! Hoping you're not stir crazy...

Hypochondriasis

2008-06-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

For those who know me, I'm a chronic hypochondriac. I've learned to deal with it mostly. Anytime I get that sinking feeling that I have something truely wrong with me I call up one of my medical savy friends [those who either have doctors for parents, are gifted students who are prolific readers of medical material, or are nurses themselves] and describe my symptoms. 99% of the time they tell me I'm dehydrated. I'm drink two Propels, a Gatorade, and a bottled water, troop off to the bathroom, then be fine. But there has been one thing lately that no one around here has been able to give me a fairly good diagnosis for.

It's a weird sleep thing. It doesn't happen very often, usually when I'm dehydrated and stressed and lying on my back while I sleep. I'll wake up and be completely aware of my surroundings but I can't move and I'll lie there for a few moments until I can move a hand or someone shakes me awake. I used to think it was some kind of seziure. But I found this really good post on The Body Odd that talks about sleep paralysis and it's exactly what I have. Then I was talking to my dad and he told me that he had that a lot when he was younger and that's why he sleeps with a blanket over his eyes. I'd always wondered.

So for my hypochondriac self, it was quite comforting to know it was harmless and genetic.

Random Updates:
My mom dropped by HHHS to pick up my report card and they told her I was missing a History Book worth fifty dollars. She says if I can't find it then I either have to pay for it or ask for forgivness on my birthday wish list.

Didn't get a haircut today. Mom says we'll try tomorrow. My bangs are really starting to bug me.

My prize from the WC contest over at Sarah Miller's Blog came in the mail today. It's an ARC of the dead and the gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I'm only on chapter three but it's really good so far. I know it's already out so the arc isn't 'worth as much' as someone told me, but for someone like me for whom authors are celebraties, I feel like I have a collectable in my hands.

My dad is planning on taking us [me and Lil Sis] to this really cool independent book store in The Capital tomorrow. (side bar: It always cracks me up how small our state capital and how people alway think the capital is one of the big cities it falls between; just another fun way our state confuses those out-of-town folk, not that we get much of that)

Sleepless

2008-06-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. I supposed I should get off the computer but it's so addictive. Especially since I feel so guilty for not writing on my story any this week, but it couldn't be helped. I simply didn't have time. I'm so tempted to start a new story, but I know this one needs written. I just think the plot needs fine tuning.

Here's my week so far:

Sunday: Traveled to WV; stayed at Grandma's House

Monday: Traveled to MD; checked in hotel; visited Other Grandma in Nursing Home

Tuesday: Cleaned OG's house a little; Ran Errands; Played Guitar at Nursing Home for Residents

Wednesday: Drove OG all over MD; Checked out Assisted Living; Had a Generally Bad Day

Today: Traveled to WV; Stopped at The Farm; Stopped at Grandma's House; Traveled Home

It seems almost too much, but I made it. It was kind of emotional too seeing as we went through so much of Grandpa's stuff when we cleaned the house a little not to mention Grandma and Mother Dearest cry at random times now. I don't let them see me cry when I do. I let them think I'm either stong and stable or uncaring and a jerk. Either way I never let them see me sweat. Might try to get my hair cut and dyed tomorrow. Idk, maybe I'll post pics.

Worst Day

2008-06-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

Simply put, today stunk. I'm too tired to go into details. More later.

Home Invasion

2008-06-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

I just got home a couple of hours ago from the beach. The trip took a little over ten hours. It wasn't so bad; I slept through most of it and during the waking part I put a good 1,600 words on my WC for my story. I'm up to 8,345 words! I know, in perspective it's not a whole lot, but it's getting there...

But more to the point, when we went to open the door we found that someone had tried to cut the lock open with a field knife. I don't want to go into too much detail but needless to say we were very alarmed. Actually, that's an understatement. My little sis grabbed a screwdriver and some other tool while I hid behind the car. I know, how very courageous of me, right? What can I say? She got the brawn and I got the brains, the reactions seem fitting for those who know us.

But it turned out we were hiding and grabbing power tools for nothing. No one was inside and nothing was taken but still it freaks me out just thinking about it. I don't know how well I'll sleep tonight. Funny thing is that I had a really vivid dream about a house getting almost invaded on Wednesday night. I guess it's one of those random times when dreams and real life match up.

Nothing Like a Good Vacation....

2008-06-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Update: I forgot to mention that I won the Work In Progress Word Count Guessing Game over at Sarah Miller's Blog. I came within 300 words! I'm pretty excited! I've never won any sort of online contest before and believe me, with all the authors' blogs I read, I've entered quite a few.

Hello again and sorry for not blogging of late. I have to admit I've been a bit distracted by well...the beach! My family and my cousins are all on this semiannual vacation to the beach we take about every two years. Today was the last full day here. I'll be sad to leave...

Beautiful, no? This wasn't taken by me or at the actual house we've been staying in for the past week. But it is the same beach. I forgot my camera (yes, pretty stupid I will admit) and had to cheat. Thank the Internet Gods for Google.

I'm super excited about this next thing. The week after next, starting on the 16th, I start my Certified Nursing Assistant class at the community college that's right next to HHHS. I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest student enrolled at fifteen. Thanks to my state's driving laws, I will be unable to drive by myself until December (I turn sixteen at the end of this month and you have to be sixteen and a half to get you're restricted license) so I will be catching a ride with Ex Novio.

Ex Novio probably won't be my ride for most of my classes and clinical work, my parents will most likely feel safer driving me . Some people pointed out that this is mildly odd considering all we've been forced to endure together (i.e. parents being best friends, beach trip, etc; yes there's more) I point out that I brought this one on myself being that he told me about the class in the first place. But it was simply too good a deal to pass up.

Well, as those who know me know, I love to day dream. Lately I've been taking to picking out scrubs I'd like to wear (if where ever I work allows you to choose ur scrubs). Here are just a few:

Can you believe that they're scrubs? I can't sometimes...I'm really excited about being a CNA. Not just because of the scrubs (though for some odd reason I've always dreamed of wearing scrubs) but because of the people I'll get to help. I'm not much a people person, but I like helping. It'll be nice to get out and do something rather than donate so others can do something. Though, there's nothing wrong with that.

For you're viewing pleasure:
http://www.youtube.com/fred
(click on the Detention one; it's my favorite!)

Happy Summer!

Review: This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen

2008-05-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

This Lullaby

by Sarah Dessen

From School Library Journal:

"Remy's parents split up before she was born, her boyfriend is cheating on her, and her ever-hopeful mother is about to tie the knot for the fifth time. The teen's wry, humorous voice is the best part of this heartfelt novel, which takes her through the summer before she starts college and, she hopes, a brand-new life; her spirited commentary will keep readers entertained. Remy's father, a musician who died shortly after her birth, left behind a popular song with lyrics that include the line, "I will let you down." It's no surprise, then, that her rules for relationships aim to keep the boys in her life at arm's length. Then she meets Dexter, a scruffy but lovable musician who seems capable of knocking down her carefully constructed defenses as their rocky romance progresses. Remy's relationships with her friends and family are realistic and believable."

I've read quite a few of Dessen's books. I like them because I can relate to a lot of the characters. This book was one of the first I found that I couldn't relate to the heroine at all, but that didn't stop it from being good. You could really understand her point of view even if you couldn't empathize with her exactly. I agree with the second part of the above review which I didn't post because it had minor spoilers, which says that some of her past life which plays an important role in her perspective wasn't as "fleshed out". I really wanted to know more about the old her and what had changed her if anything.

But all in all, I really enjoyed this. It took a little while for me to get into it, just because the beginning situation wasn't all that interesting [until Dexter comes in which yes is in the first few pages but just getting past the first couple of paragraphs took some encouragment from my friends who had read it before]. It was well worth time it took to read it. Dexter has to be my favorite of Dessen's litereary love interests, though most of my friends favor Wes from The Truth About Forever.

I would recomend it to high schoolers and up because there are some discussions on sex, drugs, and the like. But it is all essential to the plot which is a nice change from all the needless mention of it in other books I've read. After a couple of not-so-great books I've read recently, this was a most refreashing change. Check it out!

End of the School Year--Almost

2008-05-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

As I finish my sophmore year at HHHS, I find that I have indeed been very bad about keeping my grades up in some of my classes. Oddly my foreign language [spanish] is still in good shape [B+]; I'd think that'd be the first to go down, personally. I have two C's and an F. Yes, I know, I can do better, believe me my mother has already given me this lecture twice. But I promise I've got it under control, mostly.

Yesterday, I was sitting out front of HHHS waiting for my mom to pick me up [in my state you don't even get your permit until 16 much less your license which comes at 17] and one of my senior friends came out dranging her huge art portfolio bag behind her. I asked if she needed help and she said no so I just watched as she made her way to the edge of the sidewalk, dragging this bag that's 2/3rds her height. When she set it down [actually it kind of fell over when she stopped] I asked her if I could have one of her drawings, seeing as she's leaving and getting rid of a lot of it anyways.

So she let me riffle aound in her bag until I found the coolest "work of art" ever. It's this huge sketch done on black paper of a girl's face with a blue dragon and a red fox. It's super colorful. I'll try to get a picture of it up here later. It's hanging up in my room over my desk and I don't even mind that it stares at me while I sleep. It's that cool.

Days until the Beach: 5